Getting Oh So Close

I think it’s been almost a year since I have written a post on here.  I always have the best intentions; well ok, maybe not the best.  But the thought does cross my mind from time to time.  haha.  Well, I could bore you with the basics of what’s been happening in our lives, but I think I’ll skip all that and jump straight to the exciting news!  We are expecting a baby girl in December!  Yep, that’s right, you heard, or I mean, read correctly.  Ryder is going to be a big BROTHER!  WAHOO-HOO!!!  We are pretty dang excited, along with mmmm,  maybe slightly nervous.  I know we have done this before but this time, we will be raising a girl!  A GIRL!!!  AGHHHHH!!!!  Unknown territory in this house!  It can’t be that hard right?  I mean, I’m a girl after all.  Maybe that is what makes it so frightening ; )  Well, scared, nervous or excited, we are thrilled.   Feeling blessed to experience this all over again; to watch Ryder be a big brother and of course, to watch our family grow. 

I’m going to try and do better about updating this blog and our journey from a family of three to a family of four!

Psalm 139:13

13 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
 
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scary times/scary world

It has been a long time since I even logged into this thing.. I can’t believe it’s still up and running.  I think the last time I wrote anything was back in March.  My how time does fly, especially when living with a two-year old.

I wanted to come on here and write down my thoughts on yesterday’s tragic events that unfolded in Newton, Connecticut.  I think that if this had happened say, two and half , three years ago, I’m not sure it would not have the same profound affect it has on me today.

Yesterday, I had such a great day with Ryder.  We got up, took our dog to the vet (that is a different story), did some shopping, went on a lunch date and then to our favorite place, Starbucks!  Yes, my child loves going to Starbucks, no, he does not have coffee.  But we sit there and people watch.  He drinks his water, and I drink my much-needed coffee.  It’s our thing.  We then came home, and the first thing I did was turn on the television.  I was stunned.  When I tell you that I literally fell to my knees that is not an exaggeration.  Ryder totally looked at me like I was crazy and I just grabbed him and held him tight.

My heart aches for the parents.  For teachers and staff, for the friends and family and especially for the children.  How can innocent lives be taken so brutally?  I can only imagine the anxiety of un-answered questions and the overwhelming grief that these moms and dads must be feeling.  My heart aches for them as they had to go home that night, to their homes that probably felt so empty and instead of rocking their babes to sleep, their just rocking……. I want so badly for all those families hurting right now to know that their children are in Heaven, and they’re safe, and their Heavenly Father is with them.  I hope they feel the Lord’s comfort and all the prayers that are being sent to them.

This world is becoming such a scary place with each passing day…. I want so badly to protect our son from the evil. I just look at him and think to myself, how precious and innocent he is.  How do I protect him without putting him in a bubble?

I find this quote comforting…

Proverbs 22:6

“Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

I hope that each new day I have with our son, I can teach him right from wrong. And that even during the tough times, the whiney days and even those long nights, I remember to keep in my mind and close to my heart what a gift each day we have together truly is.

 

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I can’t believe how much time has passed since I have updated this thing.  I kinda feel like maybe I should just start a whole new blog.  

Ryder is now 20 months.  I can’t believe that!  I also can’t believe I referenced his age in “month” form.  Before I had him, I couldn’t stand people who referenced their child’s age in month form.  I always thought, “why do they do that, now I have to do the math in my head to figure out this kid’s age”.  But now I get it.  With each month, comes such huge milestones!  So, let’s see.  20 months, (just a little over a year and half).  He is starting to talk.  Just one word at a time, but everyday usually brings a new word.  He has learned how to jump.  This was huge for him.  He gets so excited and happy when you tell him to jump!  He is starting to become a big lil helper.  Ryder loves to help me take the clothes out of the dryer.  He likes to throw away his dirty diapers in the trash!  If you ask him to go get you one of his toys, he will.  Everyday usually brings a new trick, a new word and definitely a smile to my face.

Raising Ryder is a daily reminder of all the things I want to better about myself.  I don’t want Ryder to see how lazy I actually am.  Like so lazy, I put down my diamond engagement ring and thought I lost it forever because I was too lazy to put it away. But that’s a story for another day.  I don’t want Ryder to pick up on my insecurities or anxieties especially about how other people perceive me.  I feel like I spend a majority of my day worrying about other people’s feelings and not having the guts to actually say how I really feel.  But then at the end of the day, I always think of something my good friend once told me.  “who cares, your family and true friends will still love you at the end of the day”.  I want Ryder to speak his mind, in a respectful manner of course.  I want him to not care what others think, or what they have, or what they’re doing.  I want him to be confident in who he is!  I found this really great Dr. Seuss quote that me and my really good friend, Laura are going to make into signs for our boys.  I will leave it on this note:

“Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don’t matter,
and those who matter don’t mind”

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Good-bye Boppy

I have been breastfeeding Ryder for the past 13 months.  He’s totally over it, I’m not though.  I never thought I would actually say those words.  I always thought weaning him would be so difficult, but as it turns out, it’s only difficult for me.

When we first found out about the pregnancy, I was totally against breastfeeding.  However, Ryan was all for it.  I just didn’t get it.  I had heard way too many horror stories to even want to give it a try.  I was raised on formula and so was Ryan, so why wouldn’t I give Ryder formula?  We even went to a breastfeeding class together, which further convinced me that I was totally giving Ryder formula.  Newborns need to be fed about every 2-3 hours, and breastfeeding just sounded like one more thing I had to do.  And pumping?  What the heck was that contraption they expected me to hook up to myself so I could give Ryder breast milk when I went back to work?  I felt totally overwhelmed even thinking about it.

But then Ryder happened and the rest is history, and I now proudly proclaim myself the Breast-Pumping Queen.  The very first time I got to hold my precious boy, I immediately nursed him.  The bond was instant.  I was hooked.  I absolutely loved knowing that I was able to provide his nutrition from my body.  But, don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all perfect.  Not at all!  There was that whole, “is he getting enough”, or “I think he’s starving” issue.  We had our supporters and our nay-sayers.   But through it all, we made it work!  Just me and him.  I was so blessed to be able to provide him with breast milk.  I was so fortunate enough to be able to pump and fill up our freezer so he would have some when I went back to work.

And now the time has come to put away my Boppy Pillow and pack up my pump.  I’m sad.  Breastfeeding definitely has had its high moments and its low moments and it’s not for everyone.  But, I’m glad it was for us.

 

“My opinion is that anybody offended by breastfeeding is staring too hard.”  ~David Allen

 

 

 

 

 

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The Big One

Ryder turns the big one on Tuesday!  I am trying to think of where this last year has gone.  I can’t help thinking that this very time last year, I was about to go into labor and have a precious, perfect baby boy.  I also can’t believe how much he has changed and grown over the last year.  He went from being this little 8.14 oz baby that couldn’t even hold his head up, to a walking, babbling, getting into everything in sight little BOY!

I know everyone always says that your life will change when you have a baby and I could never fully grasp that concept until I actually experienced it for myself.  It’s insane how one little person can forever change you.  It’s crazy how the first time I ever saw Ryder, my heart just felt like it was going to explode.  It is insane on how well you CAN actually function those first few weeks only getting a few hours of sleep at a time.  It’s nuts how you start to worry about things you never cared about before, like if they have pooped today or not.  I can’t tell you how many conversations me and Ryan have had about Ryder’s poop.  It’s ridiculous, I know.  But most of all, it’s incredible!  It’s indescribable to watch your child grow-up right before your very eyes.  Every milestone Ryder has hit from sitting up, to crawling, to walking has been nothing short of amazing.  It is truly a miracle when you actually sit back and think about it.

Ryder is our most precious gift from Him.  To say Ryan and I love Ryder seems like an understatement.  He is the apple of our eye, the light of our life and the reason we try to do better everyday.

Happy Birthday to our sweet baby Ryder.  We love you to the moon and back and a million times over!

 

“Every Good and Precious Gift is from Above”  James 1:17

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Date Night

This past weekend, we packed up Ryder and sent him off to his grandparents so we could have a date night!!! 

They came to get him on Saturday morning while I was work.  When I got home from work, I came home to Ryan sitting on the couch, watching  tv and the house was unusually quiet.  I didn’t know what to think at first.  Well, ok, I’ll be honest…. I thought it was pretty cool to come home to a quiet house.  But after about 20 minutes, I grew restless.  How can one little person, who can’t even talk yet, make such a ruckus in our house?  We started talking about that and laughing.  We then decided to go upstairs and take a nap.  Now, I’m a HUGE  fan of naps.  I can take a four nap and still sleep all night.  Sounded like a great idea to me.  Well, of course, my one chance to take a nap and I couldn’t fall asleep.  It just felt weird being in the house without Ryder.  I can’t describe the void that was missing.  While it was awesome to be home, just the two of house, it just felt weird.  

The whole reason for our date night was so that we could attend a close friend of ours graduation/birthday party.  Before we went to the party, we went out to dinner.  It was fun to just be able to sit and talk and enjoy our food and  a drink or two.  After dinner, we headed to the party.  The party was fun and of course we talked about Ryder and whipped out our cell phones to show our friends pictures of him.  We didn’t get home until like 1:30 in the morning and slept in until 10.  

It was so refreshing to be able to spend time with just Ryan and reconnect.  We have such busy lives, with work and taking care of Ryder that it was such a treat to be able to hang out just the two of us.  We both think it is very important to make time for US.  We are so blessed to have such a wonderful family that will help us do that.  

We were talking to some friends of ours about how important it is to us, as a couple, to stay connected and make time for each other.   She said something that stuck with me.  “we are the trunk of OUR tree and Ryder is a branch”.  We need to stay strong and united as a married couple.

While we definitely missed our Ryder-man, we enjoyed our time together and we are now anxiously waiting for him to come home!!!

“They say it takes a village to raise a child. That may be the case, but the truth is that it takes a lot of solid, stable marriages to create a village.” ~ Diane Sollee


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Mother’s Day

My first official Mother’s Day is quickly approaching.  I am totally psyched!  Not for the gifts but because I am now an official member of that club called “motherhood”.  It took me 27 years to get there, but I’m glad I made it in.

I often think I was put on this earth to be Ryder’s mom.  He has enriched mine and Ryan’s life in ways unimaginable.  Sometimes, I think about what our life used to be like before we had Ryder.  Like going out to eat, or going shopping or just sitting at home and doing nothing.  And yes,while those things are still nice,  to us, hanging out and playing with Ryder is all we want to do these days.  Watching him grow and discover  things is way better than any restaurant meal or new outfit!  Seeing Ryder discover things for the first time is almost like we’re discovering them for the first time as well.  That smile he gives us, lights up our lives.

Being Ryder’s mom is pretty much the best gift I could ever receive!

“Making the decision to have a child-it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”
–Elizabeth Stone

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